I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
