ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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