I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
