and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
