did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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