The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize