either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
