tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Too much gin, very little bucket
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
