Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
