maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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