elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
