I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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