My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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