I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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