how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
