Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
