so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
