So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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