the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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