Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
