last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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