Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Your cock deserves a montage
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
