she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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