Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We got so high we made milksteak
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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