Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
