Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize