i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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