ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
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I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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