I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
