i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
