Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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