i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
