I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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