...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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