I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
