nut hugger
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
