Just cropdusted the office
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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