I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
