i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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