You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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