im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
