I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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