but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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