Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
