What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
