i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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