used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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