Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
