There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
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You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
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Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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