i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize