u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
