Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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