just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
