no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
