Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
