why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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