just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
