just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize