on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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